Swell. I just got booted
Swell. I just got booted offline because I didn't *70 before dialing into my POP--thus leaving me vulnerable to Call-Waiting Bootoff--and discovered a voicemail message from my girlfriend. She's working in the city today, and apparently there's a bomb threat on Houston Street between LaGuardia and Mercer, where her office is. It must not be too serious, because although they've closed down Houston to traffic, they're letting pedestrians stroll about. But still: this is the first day since we've moved here that she's been in the city and I've been here, so, of course, some yahoo threatens to blow up her street. So she's sitting around, waiting for the police to decide what to do about the situation.
It's probably nothing. Which means that every effort should be made to find the prankster, and bring him to my house, so that I can beat him about the head and neck with the bar I'm using to pry the moldings off of the living room walls. It's a Stanley Wonderbar, about a foot long, flat, heavy, with notched ends like a crowbar. I think it would be suitable for breaking some teeth, a nose, and--in conjunction with a hammer--perhaps removing a finger or two, so that he'd be less inclined to go about pushing telephone buttons and making false terroristic threats that upset people I love.
Then, I think, a good whack to the scrotum. I'm assuming testosterone here, which is, all things considered, probably a reasonable assumption to make.
This right here is one of the main reasons--regardless of how I feel about their government's 5,000-year-old-mindset--I have sympathy for the average Israeli. You could be a Peace Now demonstrating Arab-loving Jew, get on a bus to go buy some lemons, and still get turned into a smoking corpse riddled with ball bearings. In addition to the deliberate evil of human intention that underlies such an act, I find that there is the additional component of evil Fate, akin to the natural evils of hurricane, flood, and earthquake. It is as though the terrorists have yoked their human consciousness to the random destructive evils of the world, and by so doing have surrendered themselves to the same sort of primordial chaos which various gods sundered into light and darkness as their first acts of creation.
The irony is palpable. The terrorists claim to serve the all-creating Allah, yet their activities echo the time before creation, when all was disorder. They've given up the one thing that makes them human: rational, creative action.
Idiots.
