December 12, 2002

Man, do I feel like a sack o' crap today. Three cheers for Glaxo SmithKline: Hip-hip...fuck off! Hip-hip...fuck off! Hip-hip...fuck off!

But seriously, folks...

I don't want to make a mistake similar to the one made by various herbal fiends and homeopathic soft-heads that I have known: I had a headache and I took this foul-smelling Chinese powder and my headache went away so I know that this foul-smelling Chinese really works! In my case, it would be the mistake of attributing the definitive cause of my sack o' crapness to the halving of my daily SSRI dosage. Could be causal, could be coincidental. If I start feeling like I've got electric shocks running through my brain, then I'll be a bit more certain: that's never happened to me before, so I'll feel more confident when assigning Paxil as its cause. As it stands now, I'm not feeling anything that I haven't felt before, so the Causal Jury's still out, arguing in the jury room while Sam Waterson paces outside and looks worried.

At any rate, I think the Total Neuronal Package is improving somewhat, because I'm actually contemplating working on some bits that would require effort, meaning research and thinking and suchlike. That's something I simply haven't felt like doing all this month, and most of last month, and the site has been suffering for it. This I choose to attribute to the general malaise that always aflicts me this time of year. Not quite Seasonal Affective Disorder...I think it has more to do with the social confluence of all of these here Holidays, what with their happy expectations and forced interactions and so forth.

Whatever the cause, I'm glad to see the return of slight urges to pick up big fat tomes and start putting together Real Bits. Soon, I feel, I will be spewing my own special brand of Religiocultural Minutiae out into the Infoscape! Just you watch.

Now: I am going to watch some mob-related television programs that I have stolen from HBO, and I will feel good about it. You can't stop me.