ASHTON KUTCHER KILLS DEMI MOORE, SELF, IN MURDER-SUICIDE
I had a dream about that a few nights ago. Just thought I'd share it.
Not that I give any particular damn about either of them or their May-December Having A Good Bang With Each Other thing. The dream was just so spectacularly odd. Sometimes, if you're watching the news, maybe with the sound too low to hear, a picture of some recognizable famous person will pop up over the anchor's shoulder, with their last name underneath...a particular sort of picture, of a certain size, and when you see it, you know right away: OK, this person's dead now, or had a limb chopped off in a blimp accident or something.
In my dream I was watching the news and two pictures showed up, with "Kutcher" beneath one and "Moore" beneath the other. Now, anybody who's even remotely aware of what goes on in the vast Romper Room that is modern Hollywood, would think dreamwise: hey, they got married.
Not me. I immediately thought, I bet he's killed her and then shot himself. That whole thing with Cameron Crowe pushed Ashton over the edge. And, sure enough, when I turned the sound up, that's what the reporter said.
Anyway.
You heard it here first.
