January 07, 2004

"She wears Steve Madden brown leather platform cowboy boots while also walking her pet chick. As she makes her way through New York she travels hrough many environments: airport, an alley, a West Village sidewalk, subway and through heavy traffic while miraculously avoiding injury. She finally makes it to another West Village shopping area where the viewer watches a showdown between our main character and her blondhaired fashion antagonist, another Madden outfitted hipster full of style and attitude. Cut to a close-up of Steve Madden shoes: white leather s pump a la 80’s glam rock. As the two girls’ paths cross, each gives the other the rollover assessing the others hipness and fashion status. The blond notices the other’s shoes and recognizing the mark of her legitimacy, resigns herself to the fact that the new girl in town is cool and thus above reproach. Our protagonist walks away into a Chinatown scene where we leave her and her chick entering a Steve Madden store."

From this, we may gather four facts:

• Whoever does Curious Pictures' press releases is an embarrassingly poor writer, and needs to be taken out back and beaten with a dictionary.
• Steve Madden brown leather platform cowboy boots will allow you to play in traffic without being crushed by a bus and to walk in alleys without being mugged and raped.
• Steve Madden shoes grant their wearers membership in a secret society of fuckpixies who are issued giant mutant baby chickens.
• People who breed and walk their own giant mutant baby chickens but are not members of the secret society of fuckpixies will be hunted down and killed by 80s glam rock bootstomping.