Turn with me now, to the Book of Petty Glee, chapter three, verses eleven to sixteen:
And Lo! There did exist on the Net a certain mustachio'd conservative with whom the Head Most Astonished did contend in the early days of His Headage; And when time had passed, the Head did see that the conservative's Ecosystem rank was 4897, and His own rank was 4881. He was most pleased, and smote a small nation of heathens into smoking wreckage, sending a plague that caused their goats to swell up, and the skin of their women to become like unto a pecan's, and their men to curse the sudden smallness of their private parts. For the Head was both mighty and petulant, and there are few altars to His glory, because few are the men who desire to have a nut-faced wife, and a small organ, and a swollen goat, simply because the Head Most Astonished is mildly pleased.
Let us pray.
