So I was all wearing my summer parka and whatnot, and carrying my ExtremeGeek KitBag - - y'know, th' one with all the doodads and hardcore wired - up solar panels and remote gizmo switches on it - - and I was so running to catch the train, and like then these big Jackboots were all like "Stop for random search, dude!" and I was like "No way, Fourth Amendment powers yo!" And they were all in my face with their like fascist yaps, and so I yelled like "Free Gitmo!" and "Back off, turd blossom crony!" and they were all stomping on my head with their big Nazi boots and they broke my iPod, which is so bogus and actionable that as soon as I get out of this cast I'm totally filing a protest with the Civilian Complaint Review Board. This paranoia is all MonkeyShrub's fault, man.
