If you're interested, here's a live radar loop of hurricane Rita bearing down on the Gulf coast. It's info - riffic!
Other than that... man, I got nothin'. Would that I, wretched pixel - scribe that I am, could move you! Would that I had the wracked indignation of a Sullivan, or the semiotic passion of a Goldstein. Oh, for even the mindless self - assurance of a mob of Kossacks!
But no.
No, these ill - maintained pages have become, yea, a thorn in my very cerebrum! They mock me with their emptiness and their poorly - formatted archives. And while it seems to languish in neglect, the HTML... the code, it moves. It seeks out others in my absence, like a bacterial culture in search of fresh agar. Yesterday I came across swatches of my code shilling for a manufacturer of large stainless steel tanks used for the storage and transport of dairy products.
Slattern. Whoreish code!
Oh, but I will have my way. I will replace this wanton site with something better... something mobile, and solar - powered... on a tricycle. In the meantime, I will have to do something to maintain interest... my traffic, it holds steady, but I am convinced that most of my visitors are not human, but rather some form of bot... more... more code sluts!
So I'm considering other options. I could become obsessed with a single blogger... attack him mercilessly... point out all his nonsense... all the stuff I don't like, which make me better!
But that's been done. Probably more than once. So that's out.
Perhaps I could blog while inebriated! Oh... never mind.
Or... I could focus one the one thing that convinces me that I am intellectually superior, and routinely mock everyone who disagrees with me under the guise of debate. Entertainment plus!
Nahh. Clearly, it's a proven traffic - winner, but I'd get bored.
Or... or... well, shit.
I'm out of ideas. This. This right here... it's the bottom of the barrel. Nothing down here but some corroding metal, and the sludge of what used to be a rampaging intellect. Clearly, years of drink and fatty foods have crippled my neurons. Soon, I shall only post the onomatopoeiatic sounds of drooling incoherance. ggbbl... slrrrsh... .pffffff...
See? It's started already.
And... wait.
That's it!
I shall blog my own descent into complete and utter irrelevance!!!
If that doesn't bring 'em in, nothing will.
Ooo! My pizza's here. Bacon, prosciutto, and lard! Off I go!
gibble
