February 28, 2006

But the best cheeseburger place in town is only open on Thursdays, Fridays, and Sundays, and I'm not going to go out and shoot a cheeseburger myself, so now I'm contemplating venturing forth and acquiring some sort of inferior cheeseburger, or maybe a pound of buffalo meat and some Irish cheddar on a potato roll, or BY GOD the big big death will come to all infidels!

Whoa, hang on...that last bit doesn't belong here at all. Like Hillary Swank! She wouldn't bring me a cheeseburger, so I kicked her out.

Hey - I didn't sack Rome, it was the friggin' barbarians, man. You want to lay that on me? No way, buster. I didn't nail Himself in the wood, either, so you can just walk that on back into your tinfoil-hat freakshow refrigerator right now.

Ack! The incoherence!

It burrrrns!!!

AIEEEE!

(That Altoids commercial, where the nebbish guy in the sideshow eats two Altoids? That rocks.)

*cough*

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UPDATE:
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I sped off and acquired buffalo meat, Swiss cheese, eight square feet of bacon, big-style English muffins, plus green leafy things and hydroponic round red things.

I also got two miniature pies.

And some Guinness.

So maybe Swiss buffalo bastard burgers aren't in the cards this evening.

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UPDATE:
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I created a stupendously fabulous BLT instead, using two square feet of bacon.

Then my heart stopped.

I'm OK now, though.

Now you know!

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UPDATE:
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Give me your panties.