What The Hell Was That About?
The mind, it is mysterious. I woke up gasping and disoriented around 3AM this morning, feeling like I might have shouted myself awake. I've got no idea what the dream was about, I only know that for several minutes in the half-light, I had the distinct impression that I wasn't entirely human, or that such a state was at least a strong possibility.
Maybe I've been watching too much Buffy. But it took a good five minutes before I could reorient myself to being awake in this particular universe, which is always an interesting experience for me. In that hypnopompic frame of mind, all of the various irregular shapes in the room became distant mountainsides, or perhaps creatures lying in wait, before resolving into boxes yet unpacked, piles of clothes, and the like. For a brief while I was a creature of the dark, a semi-amnesiac with vague memories of who I had been before I ended up in this terrible place.
Eventually, the gasping and the pounding of my heart subsided, and I had to go into the kitchen to snack on inappropriate foodstuffs.
I haven't had something like this happen in quite awhile. I think my subconscious machinery is gnawing through some seriously dark material...which is good, that's what it's supposed to be doing.
Going to be a long day, I think.
UPDATE:
Yes, it was, and it's not over yet.
I'm calling this one for Buspar. It's the anxiolytic in my particular binary cocktail, but apparently I shouldn't have bumped it up as much as I did, so I need to kick it back down by 15mg or so. The peculiar dream last night is a possible side effect of an increased dose of buspirone, and I spent most of the day in a serotonin fog.
Which, while superior to spending the day inside a giant rubber band ball of nervous heebie-jeebie wackiness, doesn't do much for the whole functioning-member-of-society thing.
Better living through chemistry! Goddamn hippies. Although, to be fair? The Wellbutrin/Buspar combination makes for really good orgasms.
